So much has changed over the last five years. It amazes me at some times and totally scares me at others. There are so many amazing bits. Mia, Partner, living here, a terrific rapport with my parents, a new family I love... In five years I've gone from smoking 10 (and more) joints a day, spitting mad at the world to not having had a cigarette in the last five days. I am wearing nicotine patches, but it's a start. The scary bit is that none of it was planned, everything just happened. So it could also un-happen right? That's what scares me but I'm not going to be chicken shit. Jo hoga dekha jayega. :)
Here's what was happening with me this day, on this blog in the (five) years passed:
2010 June 23, Anti-nesting feelings: There's state of mind and then there's a state your mind's in. Or moments when I am so cranky it irritates me. Or I am so irritated I really want to cry. My belly is HUGE. Correction: The thing under my boobs with red streaks and spider veins running all over -- that can sometimes change shape on its own -- is HUGE. I also projectile puked yesterday because the body felt like it. READ MORE
Hinsdight: I was hugely pregnant and waiting for Mia to be born. And majorly grouchy. The official due date was July 28th; I didn't know it then that Mia would be two weeks early.
Hindsight: I was waiting for my study visa, Partner had left for Melbourne the day before. Everything I knew I was leavhing behind in one country, everything I wanted was in another country. I didn't know it then but the visa came through the next day.
Hindsight: So lonely then. Four-five months before Partner walked into my life. So lonely. I had no idea life would change for the beautiful and I woulnd't have believed if you'd told me.
2006, June: I'd recently been beaten up. I'd bled, cried wanted to die. Instead I got angry. I didn't know then I'd be starting a blog that would help channelise my anger, help me survive.