I don't love you anymore.

It's a regular day. You two have been together for years, have built a house, a future, dreams together. You have your arguments and times you get irritated with each other, but overall, you'd say you are happy.

And then one fine day your partner -- husband, fiance, long-time girlfriend -- turns around says, "I don't love you anymore."
What will you do?
Pic = zazzy.com

UPDATE on 31/8/2009

Of the 10 early responses on this post, the common reactions to the questions above are:

1. Shock
2. Refusal to beg or self-pity
3. Hurt
4. Alimony, court, divorce
5. Be brave, move on

One response takes it as a sense of freedom; another is very cynical of the whole mushy-mushy thing says the declaration should not come as a shock. Waiting for more responses.


Mystique said...

I'd be more than a little stunned, i'm thinking.

Miss M said...

Err... I'll say, "Oh okay. Well then, lets talk alimony!"

Dulce said...

That's what I told him after years noticing That was what he felt. Nothing much.
I tend to believe everything that starts has an end.
Now... if you are still crazily in love and he tells you so...
WOW what a suffering> I'd cry for days until I got used to it...

JB said...

@ Miss M, Mystique & Dulce: Thanks for that... waiting for some more responses, then shall comment as well....

Passionate Goof said...

If I still love him, it would definitely hurt. But I just cannot beg or mope around. So I think I will pick up the pieces and move on. And know something better awaits me ahead.

Niya Karma said...

I think I would be shocked and upset (supposing I would still (be in) love (with) him). I think I would ask him for how long, I would want to know everything and I think I would need a lot of time to heal and to build up some confidence again.

If I wouldn't love him anymore either, I think I would want to remain friends and be happy for all the good times.

Raza said...

i would say after so much mushy mushy happily ever after affair(in short after spending that much amount of time with someone), you have to be a complete idiot if you didn't see it coming!!
you are at fault!!

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

It depends on my feelings for him.

a) If I'm still in love with him, I'd torture myself by wanting the details...every sick, gory one. Then I'd cry my eyes out. Then I'd take the bastard to court and have the judicail system cut his balls off.

b) If I'm indifferent, I'd work out an amicable settlement.

c) If I felt the same way I'd shout 'Hallelujah!', shake his hand and part amicably.

And no matter if it's a,b or c, I'd want my children. Non-negotiable.

ab said...

Thank her. Pack up. Leave for that long missed backpacking trip of latin america where you don't have to bother informing anyone back home about where you are, when you're coming back or about 'our' money.

The trip to latin america is just a symbol

Sree said...

just curious to know
@Mamma mia why would you want ur children when he is leaving u cuz he doesnt love YOU anymore and not the children? Wouldnt it be best for the kids to still be able to see both parents?

Even without being in love, its difficult to leave,especially when there are children involved.But one must learn to move on.And treasure ur friends, they come in handy at such difficult times.

JB said...

@ Everyone:

Quite interesting, the commonalities in all the responses so far are:

1. Shock
2. Refusal to beg or self-pity
3. Hurt
4. Alimony,court, divorce
5. Be brave, move on

One response takes it as a sense of freedom; another is very cynical of the whole mushy-mushy thing (@Ahmad)

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...


I'm sorry I didn't make myself clear. I would want primary custody of the children, maybe even joint custody if the divorce is amicable. I can't imagine not sharing my kids with their father...the bond they have is (touchwood) special, unique, magical.

But yes, if he hurts me in ways unimaginable, then I'm not above fighting tooth-n-nail.

Sree said...

thanks for that @Mamma mia

Anirudh said...

I would be shocked speechless and break down. I'll drive her crazy asking what went wrong or go crazy thinking what went worng.
I'll try to convince her that we can still mend this but if even that fails then I will pack up and move and nover look in her direction again.

klscorpio72 said...

These responses are good to know. I have been with my husband for 17 years. We have two teenage daughters whom I have raised emotionally, physically and mentally while he contributed only financially while spending most of his free time drinking and neglecting our relationship and the kids. It took me until two months ago to finally feel like I could leave. I recently graduated from university and have gained the confidence I think I desperately needed to do this. After years of talking to him kindly about how i felt with no change...he must have sensed my detachment because he suddenly broke down, apologized and quit drinking. I said its not too late for him, but in my heart I think it is. I just don't feel the intense feeling of love that I once did. I don't want to be around him although now he is around all the time. I feel a deep desire to spend time in a foreign country volunteering or something just so I can say I cant go on with him. I dont know what to do. Should I keep waiting to see if I can feel that love again? He obviously loves me a lot if he was willing to give up his long time drinking lifestyle for me. But should I stay for him?

Vivek Kumar Sarangi said...

Being an emotional guy myself, i might have begged first.
But moving on, without even looking at her would be the sensible thing to do. NO CALLS , NO MESSGS , Period.

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