Where are you?

"Either you are thinking about what happened in the past or worrying about what will happen in the future. You forget to consider the present. That's the only trouble with you."

That's what Partner said to me two days back... Hate it though I may, he is right.
I don't regret my past, but I do think if I could have taken some decisions differently, done things another way. Perhaps the biggest past factor with me is thinking about people. I don't exactly nurse a grudge, but I find it hard to forget. I might think I have forgiven, but then at unexpected moments I realise I don't know how to forgive. It all comes back.

The future thrills me and scares me to death. I fear losing what I have, but even more than that, I fear that I might stop appreciating what I have. I've run from jobs, relationships, people... What if I do it again? Partner calls it my "second guessing streak". He says I think negative thoughts and either worry myself trying to prevent it or worse, get fatalistic and make it happen.

I can perhaps stop thinking about the past. But the future...? It confuses me, when people say "live in the present, don't think about the future". Will not our actions today affect our tomorrow?
Do you live in the past, present or the future? Try this quiz as well.


Sree said...

The present is like waiting at some place for your turn.None likes it yet we have to.Better have a toy room to make the wait entertaining.
And what if once the future we dream of becomes our present.Will we still think of another future and forget the present?
Past.Better to deal with it like a well read and almost forgotten award winning book.The characters in it who served the purpose of teaching you life lessons.A nice shelf space,thats what it deserves.
Forgiveness.I'm still searching for the meaning of it.
I also feel,good relationships in all aspects makes the wait or the path towards whatever a bit more light.
Ok you.Stop wine-ing and write chap 3.

chandni said...

I completely live in the present. As for the future...will cross the bridge when I get there.

What a coincidence...see my latest post too :) not completely related...but somewhat :)

Deepti said...

This is so like my present state of mind ... I worry a lot too .. and at the most unexpected moment there is a blast from the past :(
Nice post!! :D

JB said...

(extremely grumpy: Partner and I thinking of some travelling. While his Australian passport allows him non-visa entry anywhere.. Indian passport holders have HUGE troubles. WTF? I know at least half a dozen Aussies living in India WITHOUT a valid work permit. Not fair.

@ Sree: glad to know you aren't perfect. :|

@ Chandni: Share tips lady, share the tips. Oh god, JUST read the first line of your post. At times, melancholy should be my middle name.

@ Deepti: :) join the gang..and read Chandni's post, she makes a lot of sense...when i can remember the good advice that is.

Dee said...

At least he said "thats the only trouble with you".. If I had to ask the DH, he would list out a dozen things in under 1 minute.. :D

Gosh, its almost like your perfect.. :)

JB said...

@ Dee: Er, lemme think. Perhaps I misquoted. What he said was perhaps more like, "that is the biggest problem with you"...meaning there are small, big and bigger problems as well. :)

deepti jakhar said...

I think its a cultural thing..we as Indian women are either taught to learn from our ancestors (the glorious past being forever quoted) or save, plan and prepare for our future..kids and husband and their needs. Living in the present is considered too frivolous and consumer.

Goofy Mumma said...

Live in the present and have a positive attitude towards the future. JB, thoughts are very powerful, and can shape our future more determinedly than we care to acknowledge! And do have fun all the way!

She talks like June said...

Sometimes I totally skip my present drinking chai and eating pakoda waiting for future to arrive.

Ashish Chatterjee said...

a related *nerdy* comic - http://abstrusegoose.com/142

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