Write no wrong

I cannot write. Not here, not in my journal, not on napkins as I once used to. Not anywhere. At least I had a small break from nonwritingness and managed to finish The Book and submit it. It's been a month since the publisher sent me an email -- "starting primary edits" it said -- and I haven't heard anything since. Perhaps it's take really long for primary edits. Perhaps it takes longer when the MS sucks. Perhaps publisher is looking for a (gentle) way to tell me it cannot be published.

I cannot seem to be able to do anything. Partner gifted me a new sewing machine as a finish-the-bloody-book present. I've made some stuff -- couple of dresses for me and some pants for Mia. But now again I am in unmotivated land.

I've made a Christmas cake -- same recipe as last year except it didn't fall on the floor this time...or hasn't so far. I'm going to make some mocha cookies soon. And that's it. Last year I made chocochip cookies and truffles and packed them in hand-made boxes. This year - unmotivationalism.

I got a single opportunity to write an article for a magazine -- Indian one -- and I refused it. Can't write, no time and other stuff.

Speaking of no time -- my house looks like a pig sty. Only pigs like their homes. I cannot keep it clean. And anything I do -- bake, cook, sew -- only dirties it further.

Now I cannot finish this post. I've started so many posts over the last couple of months but somewhere around the second paragraph, it's delete. Or save for later. And the later never comes.

I don't know what's happening.


Anonymous said...

Know the feeling - I get it time and time again too - that it all feels too much even though there are things I WANT to do.

Perhaps it's the year-end fatigue. Maybe 2012 will be better :)

Anonymous said...

I too know that feel. The last couple of months have been a merry-go-round of half-finished thoughts and flashes of unfulfilled inspiration.

For what it's worth, I am very happy that you posted something at all. It is a start, and you remain a good writer. Didn't know you'd been working on a book either - I'm looking forward to that!

Espèra said...

Well, I find that it usually gets me going when I think of the consequences of what I want to do (but have no motivation for).
For example, if I feel too lazy to make an awesome card for my friend's birthday, I think of her face when she'll receive it, and how beautiful the card will be (if I put in some effort into it), and how much everyone will love it.
Or, if I feel that baking cupcakes is too much work, I think of how pretty they will look in the photographs when I put them up on Facebook and how jealous everyone will be :')
I hope this helps :D

Bikramjit said...

hmmmmmmmmm i KNOW...
take ur time ... all will be fine


Suruchi said...

Hey don't worry...the pressures of being a working mom can have its tool...just remember "this too shall pass..." and surely it will:-)

all the best and waiting for you to bounce again!

Abhiroop Banerjee said...

The Book? What book? When when?

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