How to look like a man

(click on the above picture to see greater detail. Ahem.)
So much for metrosexuality and shaved chests. It's official now; with the worsening global economic crisis, research says that women prefer the "more muscular, primal, hairy male" to the ones who go about getting their eyebrows tweezed.

I had always known it. My first recollection of having a crush on any man goes back to Amitabh Bachchan riding a motorcycle and singing Rote huye in Muqaddar ka Sikandar. I clearly remember him wearing a white shirt, button undone and looking bloody delicious. <--- This picture is from Deewar, and you can still see some of his fuzz. Now of course grandpa B wears covered tees since I suspect his chest hair must be turning grey.


My second Bollywood crush used to be Salman Khan. Rather the Salman in his Maine Pyaar Kiya days... I was 12/13 and he was the 'boy' who dared to fight for the girl he loved AND had chest hair. My adulation quickly changed as Salman turned into Bollywood's biggest prick who now looks like a sausage walking around in tight jeans. (Hmm, in retrospect, this ---> poster is quite servile, isn't it? But then Rajshri productions has never been known for strong female characters. They always whimper.)

As for Hollywood, my first, fierce crush was Pierce Brosnan as Remington Steele. Oh, how I loved him. I was insanely jealous when I first saw the episode where he kisses Stephanie Zimbalist's character. So heartbrken... Pierce was so handsome AND had a hairy chest.

Since Steele, I have really liked Mel Gibson and George Clooney. Both men have chest hair. Hmm. All my screen men have also had good voices and strong chins. Now of course I am simply crazy about Hugh 'Wolverine' Jackman. If my chances of meeting Jackman -- as Wolverine -- were not nearly-nil, Partner would have great cause to worry.

Boys/men need to understand that not all hair on men is unattractive. For instance, both Anil Kapoor and Akshay Kumar had body hair as well. Just a little too much of it.

The rule for Male Body Hair is simple: If you have a monobrow that hides your eyes, please do get them re-shaped. If your chest hair looks like a carpet, please feel free to shave. If your body hair covers every inch of you -- including your neck and ears -- it is wise to get a wax or something. You don't want your girl reaching for a toothpick each time she kisses you.

Other than that, men who shave/wax their body hair -- unless you are a porn star -- LET IT BE. Some fuzz on a man looks good. For instance, I simply cannot understand how grown women can swoon over the likes of Toby Maguire and Zake Ephron. Despite the ripped bodies and all, both look like they'd cry if slapped.


While Daniel Craig is also being touted as a macho man, I find him quite putting-off. Firstly, it's that pout. It makes him look like he really needs to shit and is holding it back. Secondly, it's his much written about body. To me it looks quite rubbery; like if you ran and hugged him, you'd bounce right back.

The idea being a man does not have to be hairy; but neither does he have to look like the human version of a poodle. If you have some naturally, show it off.

That said, I shall go perv at Jackman some more.

PS: Partner caught me staring at Jackman's pictures. He asked me what I was doing. I solemnly said I was researching how chest hair makes men look hot. For a minute everything was all right. Then Partner looked at me and said, "But I don't have chest hair." (grin) He does and just the right amount. Let's just say I proved it to him that I find him really hot. Sigh. Can't wait for return-from-office-time.