Dekho gadha moot raha hai...

I have no idea why I started thinking about that, y'know, the phrase in the headline. In English it would mean, 'Look a donkey is pissing.'

The whole idea of writing it on walls -- apparently to dissuade Indian men from marking their territories/ walls/ parks/ benches with their piss -- is to shame them into not pee-ing in public. BUT given that more than half the Indian population cannot read, what's the point? As for the laptop-toting brigade that pulls over their Santros and Toyota's and pisses on the wall, perhaps they can't read Hindi.

Hello, Sri Ram Sene, are you listening? How about a campaign eh? We can call it -- Bharat Maata Moot-Rahit Campaign (Mother India Piss Free)-- where your goons, er, cadets can beat up men who pee on Mother India's pavements and walls? What do you say? Ma par mootna nahi chahiye, Hinduism says so.

For those who don't know what I am talking about: Sri Ram Sene is a supposedly 1000-strong (has anyone really checked?) group of staunch Hindu men who go around attacking pubs, punching and slapping women for doing non-Indian/Hindu things like drinking and dancing. Sri Ram Sene ji... what about Bhole Nath/ Shivshankar/ Nataraj/ Shiva? We ALL know he is associated with dancing. AND what about the bhaang (cannabis) that is legally sold through government shops on Holi? Men AND women drink it and get absolutely friggin' high and do all sorts of things.

OHO!! Bhagwan Krishna -- hare Rama, hare Krishna anyone? -- is KNOWN to have danced with all the gopis in Vrindavan. Why were you not around back then Sri Ram Sene... to control him? Ah, and the dandiya during Diwali where young girls and boys dance with each other... Are we going to get them married? I suggest we do, statistics show that we have a rise in pregnancies during the dandiya season. Of course you, Sri Ram Sene, know that babies are not created just by dancing with sticks. The timing would be perfect, there's nothing more auspicious than Diwali time, no?

Sri Ram Sene says pubs, Valentine's Day, drinking and dancing with boys (and boys dancing with girls) is all anti-Hindu and anti-India. SRS also says that Muslims are anti-India and of course anti-Hindu... Sri Ram Sene has released statements saying "those women were with boys of a different religion".

"They are trying to spread a rumour that I am a Muslim but I am not a Muslim. My name is Pawan Shetty," said the Mangalore hero.

But SRS, please, given the economic crisis that the world is facing, let's just hold on to the Muslim persecution for a while. We need the money and we need some glory.

Like Yousuf and Irfan Pathan gave Sri Lanka a solid beating two days back and we (India through ICC, ostensibly) earned a lot of money through the IPL series. And of course, a week back it was the mixed doubles pair of Mahesh Bhupathi and Sania Mirza (psst, Muslim) that got us the Australian Open Mixed Doubles award. Not to mention... if we remove Shah Rukh KHAN, Aamir KHAN, Saif Ali KHAN and Salman KHAN from the Hindi film industry aka Bollywood, the industry collapses. Hai na?

While Sri Ram Sene is busy, I sincerely hope, targeting the Khans -- who strangely never, ever say a word when it's needed -- I have a question for everyone. Especially those who are sending chaddies (panties) and what not to SRS. I understand the idea behind sending chaddis - one nonsense for another nonsense -- but is that enough?

This is about FEAR tactics where a group of thugs is scaring people through violence... whatever be their purported reason. It's about Gabbar Singh in the name of Ram.

"...The report also says that a fear-psychosis prevails among youngsters in the city and with Valentine’s Day coming up, the panic is palpable..."

I mean, if it's pink versus khaaki...why not a laat (kick) versus a chaanta (slap)? If 28-odd men could beat up a few women, why not the other way round? Why was there only ONE man with balls enough to stand up against them? Apparently the chaddi-club has 486 confirmed guests and there are 24, 990 (still counting on Facebook) plus members on another group for 'pub-going, loose and forward women'.

Someone mentioned that this -- the panties-for-perverts -- is like the Gandian non-violent movement. Sure, applaud. But can anyone deny that the extremists in the Indian freedom movement -- the men and women who blew up offices, rail lines and gave us an eye-for-an-eye -- did not contribute to the freedom of India as well?

How about a 50-strong group of men and women taking up the cause? The idea is to give out the same kind of justice. Laaton ke bhooth, baaton -- aur chaddi -- se nahi maante.

On New Year's eve, two women WITH their husbands are disrobed. The year before that another girl faces a similar fate. Rizwanur Rehman's murder is STILL being investigated and now a senior police office-turned-witness has been found murdered in EXACTLY THE SAME way. STILL no solutions... HOW much longer before those reading this blog and other blogs and joining Facebook groups is going to lose someone close because of something like this? Panties will not stop it. Neither will Renuka Chowdhary. A good beating might just.

Someone give answers please.

PS: Am I being 'intolerant'? Perhaps so. But some itches you've got to scratch, tickling them doesn't really help.

A brilliant, brilliant post
It was pretty fashionable for women to wear sleeveless blouses in the 60's. Once, on a bus, a bunch of young men took razor blades and slashed the exposed arms of women in such blouses. Overnight, it seemed, women stopped wearing them.

Related stories:
Can't drink to India culture: Women attacked in Mangalore pub
Moral policing: ABVP protests pub culture
Sri Ram Sene men get bail
Pub attack: Govt sends enquiry team
Man who fought pub attackers threatened
Pink underwear against moral police

I love to lick...and other things!

This tag -- the first tag I am responding to! -- was insisted upon by Koshy, MaxJayJay, Catmeister and Mamma Mia.

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(I am doing this on my blog BUT: (To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the application).

Despite having an entire blog to myself... 25 random things about me:

1. I cannot remember jokes or rather, can only remember one joke at a time, which I will repeat at every party. Current joke involves a Chihuahua and a female elephant. Those interested, shout out!

2. I don’t like men with hairless arms. Hairless chests, is okay, hairless arms….pfft (thus I cannot stand Rafael Nadal)

3. I hate four-boobs…when you wear a wrong-sized bra and the top of your breasts pop out…thus, four boobs. I consider it the biggest faux pas.

4. I am extremely uncomfortable with compliments, to the point of being rude. I think people are lying when they compliment, especially when it’s about physical appearance. In the same vein, I am even worse when I am criticised. (wicked grin)

5. I LOVE my boobs. Bwahaha.

6. I have an authority-issue…sooner or later I will hate/dislike my boss.

7. If I was assured I will not be caught, there are at least two people I can murder without any conscience. I think I will make a good assassin.

8. If I could Ctrl+Z… I would've remain a virgin till my wedding day/night. Oh well. Go figure.

9. Despite others being the ‘cause’ of the heartbreak…it has always been me who has walked out of a relationship(s)

10. I have kissed a friend’s boyfriend. :( I consider it one of the shittiest things I have done and will never forgive myself for it.

11. I use a tongue cleaner…Partner thinks its weird, but without it I feel unclean.

12. I like licking -- using my fingers that is! -- the bottom of the pan when certain dishes have been cooked. ‘Kadhi’ and Maggi top the list.

13. I used to chew my nails to little, bitty pieces. Now I do it only when I am EXTREMELY excited (does not include sex). I still consider my nails as rather, er, chewable. Hah. (thank god they don’t have nicotine in them! alarmed)

14. I get extremely uncomfortable and possessive -- I actually throw a tantrum and can lose my temper -- with anyone else working/ using my kitchen. Especially if it’s another woman, even if it’s my mother. (!)

15. I used to be VERY particular about everyone using MY name…no nicknames, no shortcuts, just Jhoomur. Now I am not as Nazi about it… (hmmm…maybe I need to be. If people can pronounce Dostoevsky they can bloody well pronounce my name)

16. I would love to give a dance performance before an audience and receive rave reviews for it. The last was when I was 13 -- Bharatnatyam -- before the then-Vice President of India. Dr SD Sharma, at Siri fort auditorium, New Delhi.

17. I would love, love, LOVE to have a horse as a pet.

18. I would love to tango/ salsa with Partner… REAL steamily. However, this will probably go unfulfilled -- learning dance is anathema to Partner -- unless we can salsa to the tunes of market movements and barley figures.

19. I would really like to get married… at a time when I and the other mean our vows. To just KNOW that I am loved, as I am. And I would consider myself blessed to have a baby, my baby. My child. My existence. I already love him/her…it’s weird.

20. I fervently wish to take my parents out of the country…make them see the world. Papa loves reading and watching National Geographic…I want to see the look on his face when he steps on to the lands he reads about… for Ma, I want to buy her everything she wants. Anything, everything and remove every, single, teensy, vestige of the childhood -- where they took everything from her -- or her youth -- where she gave everything to us.

21. I find the idea of threesomes (yes, that threesome) scary. :P No, I haven’t.

22. My biggest, biggest crush was a man at least 22 years my senior. He was one of the cruellest men I knew. He never hurt me though. Funny.

23. I can ‘read’ other peoples’ relationships. Whether pretending to be happy or whatever, I have NEVER been wrong in reading relationships. Except mine!

24. If I could choose between becoming a vampire or a werewolf, I’d choose to be a vampire (love the clothes) … who can mate with werewolves. :D Go Lycans!

25. I find it very hard completing tags…simply because it feels like an editor telling me what to do…goes against the grain!

(26... I really, really miss my Golu.)

People who I tag:

1.Mamma Mia

2. Catmiester

3. MaxJayJay

4. Mystique

5. Mad Haiku

6. Goofy Mumma

7. Mad Momma

8. Eveline

9. Dew Drop Dreams

10. Pirate of the Arabian

11. Sree

12. Eve's Lungs

13. Chandni

14. Silvara

15. Freespirit

The other names are on the Facebook note...

The object of my (des) ire

"Do you ever get tired of thinking?" read the comment. No.

It's involuntary, like breathing. Inhale thought, let it mix in the blood stream, pump through the arteries, twist together in the veins and exhale out. In notebooks, on napkins, on the margins of whichever page of whatever book the eyes are on, behind book covers; sometimes here.

Some thoughts are triggered by a song, a scene, a scheme. Some are like the past, with a subconscious claim over my dreams. The purest of those thoughts, those dreams are fuzzy... I don't know how to consciously create them. Like you can consciously create a day-dream where everything is geared to make you come out the winner. To make you happy. Day-dreaming and cynicism are mutually exclusive.

The clearest thoughts/dreams involve pain. Hurting others. A departure from reality, where always, I am the one left curled up, tired to cry, hoarse to scream. With such a tremendous pressure on the chest, it feels the heart will disintegrate and pour out of my mouth in a bloody vomit. Each droplet out like acid splattering on another's face. Burning through their skin, eating into their brain. Demanding reasons, retribution, revenge. Justice.

But justice is overrated, poetic justice befuddled. And revenge is like your own personal rancid rainbow -- of reeking reds and gory greens -- that you can run to, but never touch. So you run from it. You think you are "letting go". But the scarlet-tinged, fluoro colours are always, always there in your peripheral vision. Mocking. "You idiot! Others are reaping the rewards of your hurt. Of your heart. Ha, ha."

I don't get tired of thinking. But I tire of repetitive thoughts with no results. Of a clingy past that I cannot shake off. Because I cannot seem to stop remembering. How do I let go? ... Or how do I hurt? Because sometimes, so many times, I really don't want to hurt. I WANT to give it back.

And if that makes me a bad person, guess I am like everybody else.

Saw pseudo-vampire flick Twilight last evening. Pseudo because they have no fangs, just strong teeth. More a horse than vampire I say. Hrmph. Have read all four books by Stephenie Meyer. It's a teen romance masquerading as a vampire flick/book. So S.L.O.W. Kristen Stewart looks constantly constipated, Robert Pattison looks anemic (well, he's a 'vegetarian' vampire, snigger) and there's zero chemistry between the two. The books are a cruel joke. My translation: A perfect man is only possible if he's a vampire, i.e. a work of fiction. Hah. Read the books if you have to, give the movie a miss. Partner either groaned or yawned through it all. But at least we are even; four history documentaries against one chick-flick.

Came back home and saw Korean director Chan-wook Park's Sympathy for Lady Vengeance. Loved the movie. Completely empathised with Geum-ja Lee... what if vengeance does not liberate? What if it doesn't shake off the past? DO see the movie. It's black.

PS: This doesn't make any sense does it? Good. It's still my blog you know.

Curious co-relation between the two movies? Tofu. 'Edward Cullen' says surviving on animal blood is like living on tofu, does the job but never satisfies you. Lady Vengeance has tofu too... it signifies purity of soul. But never satisfies?