F*** Your Beauty Standards?

Look at her. LOOK at her.
Some people say clothing/fashion brands are exploiting "fat" women (and men) to sell their stuff. Yet others blame her (and others like her) for promoting obesity and unhealthy living. Tess Holliday has started a movement called Eff Your Beauty Standards. It's about loving yourself the way you are - big, skinny, voluptuous, bony. It's about being the best you can be without implying that the best needs to be within certain inches.
She has never asked anyone to get obese.

I don't want to be her size. But I want to be like her. So much. And no it doesn't mean I want anyone to see my negligee-clad selfie either. I don't have gorgeous underwear like hers.

The last bra I bought was a "minimising" bra that is supposed to make my breasts look smaller. Slimmer. Not there. It doesn't work. The bra sort of pushes them down and to the sides. It makes my chest look wider, like a hammerhead shark, but with a hammer chest.

I want to have Tess's confidence. I want my IDontGiveAFuckness to come back. Somewhere along the way it's been hammer-chested too.
I was thinking about all my mummy friends back in Melbourne. I can count the non-skinny persons on the fingers of... one hand.

I want to be like Tess. And wear sleeveless outfits and shorts and nice dresses without thinking about who I'm offending with my arms and my thighs and my unminimised breasts. I don't even know why I'm self-conscious about my breasts. Women pay shitloads of money to have surgically enhance them to my size. :/

Oh well. I think I need to go shopping.


Images: Courtesy Tess Holliday

You'd be pretty if

"You'd be hot if you lost that slight tummy." -- 24yo, 50 something kilos

"Oi moti, let's go for movie na?" 18 yo, 50something kilos (moti = fatso)

"Your boobs are your best feature." 25 yo, 50something kilos

"You can balance a tray on your butt." 23yo, 50 something kilo

"Wow. You've really made a hot body now." 26yo, 38 kilo

"You're looking anorexic." 27yo, 40kilo

"This is perfect. Don't change now." 28yo, 46kilo

"You've filled out since I last saw you." 30yo, 50kilo

"All pregnant women are fat." 31yo, first baby, 64 kilos

"You look amazing, you lost all the baby weight." 31 yo, 54 kilo

"You look so... Spread out wide." 32yo, 60 kilo

"You're all baby, there's nothing else to you but that bump." 33yo, second pregnancy, 62 kilo

"You need to stop losing weight." 33yo, 46 kilo , four months after baby

"You have a great figure for a mom of two." 34yo, 47 kilo

"You've put on weight since coming here." 34y0, 51 kilo

"Good job. You've worked hard to look like this." 35yo, 48kilo

"Do you have to be obsessed with exercise?" 35yo, 47kilo

"You look gaunt. You look better with some weight on you." 35 yo, 46 kilo

"Oh no JB, you've got thunder thighs now." 36 yo, 54 kilos

" You need to lose some weight." 36 yo, today, 61.10 kilo

I am tired.

To want is to b*tch

I want to take my daughters to the park. I want to cook fresh, healthy food for them. I want to make lovely dresses for them. I want to bake cakes and master cookies and create works of edible art. I want to start blogging again. I want to write a second book. I want to make yummy food. I want to have a lovely, clean house. I want to sort out my cupboard, the kids cupboard, Sam’s cupboard, the linen cupboard, the crockery and utensils cupboard, the cupboard-that- is- full- but- I- don’t- know- what’s- in- it*. I want to read more books. I want to read the books I’ve already bought on my Kindle. I want to watch and do the various lessons I’ve bought on Craftsy. I want to read the news. I want to Facebook my friends and Pinterest for inspiration. I want to talk to my parents (…more than just “how are you? Bye”) I want to do art with the girls and take them dancing and swimming and for gymnastics. I want to go out and socialise. I want to remember my friends birthdays etc. I want to get better at sending people gifts. I want to moisturise my body every day. I want to wear socks so my feet don’t get so dry. And condition my hair. I want to cleanse-tone-moisturise daily. I want to have nice hands. I want to have a Lara Croft body and eat cake. I want to exercise. I want to look good in the clothes I already have. That I cannot find. I want to organise my cupboard. I want to reorganise the guest room and get all the pictures/art framed. I want to plant the freesias and lettuce. I want to paint the Elsa canvas and finish the Winnie Pooh cross-stitch. I want to deep sleep.

I want to fit it all in 24 hours. I don’t want to lose my mind.  I don’t know what to do.

(*I’ve already sorted the Baking Stuff cupboard and the pantry, yay!)